Somebody's Someone: Judgement

  Addiction. A word my family has been "dealing" with for a long time. This word carries a lot of emotions. Hurt, disappointment, fear, love, grief and judgement. As most of you know my mom and I have been very open about Parker's addiction. At times when speaking face to face with a few people, I received pretty harsh judgement. While that judgement never really affected me deep down, it wasn't about me. It was about my little brother.

   So many are quick to jump and say/think (I only know because I've done this in the past) "I wonder what happened to them to make them use?" What trauma did they endure?" "What did those parents do wrong?" While for some these questions could be answered, a lot of addicts come from relatively normal families and lives. Their back stories aren't always full of darkness and trauma. Addiction doesn't discriminate. 

   The best, yes I said BEST, part about an addict is that they are just like you. They are somebody's son, daughter, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandson, granddaughter, mom dad, husband, wife and so on. Although their addictions lead them down dark and tumultuous roads of excuses, anger, lying, crime and pain (and so much more), they are still a person. A human being. 

   Through the years of going through the waves and ripples that addiction causes, I have found my own personal judgement soften. When I see someone begging on a corner I wonder about their story. Not in judgement but in empathy for the family that so longs to have them back. Now that I have my own kids I often picture them as a child, knowing they were once (and still are) the light of someone's world. They are somebody's someone.

   My brother, Parker, was and still is so many peoples someone. I have heard from a lot of people through tears and pain how he changed their lives. Even through his fight against his demons, he was still trying to help those around him. Though he is gone from this earth, I will make sure his story is heard to continue to change lives. Even if its only one person.

There have been a few people that have said to me, "I wish I knew the Parker you knew." I hope through this blog my mom and I show you exactly who he is. The dark and the amazing things about him. He was hilarious. He was kind. He was a charming ladies man. He was stubborn. Most importantly he was my little brother. My mothers son. My babies uncle. My aunts and uncles nephew. My grandparents grandson. He was a friend to so many. He was and still is the light in all of this darkness.  

I challenge you the next time you find yourself in harsh judgement of an addict, homeless person or even someone less fortunate of yourself, to soften your judgement. You don't always know their story or where they came from. They could've grown up exactly like you and chose a different path. Find empathy in your heart for the family that misses them. The person they were before the addiction. The person they were forced to morn while they were still alive. The person they want back so badly.  Always, ALWAYS remember, they are somebody's someone.

Somebody's Someone by Daphne Willis

Bright light on the corner of a dark street
Just a cardboard sign and a can in between some dirty bare feet
Eyes that I can't bring myself to meet

I would spare a twenty if I thought
you'd be using it to get what you need

Ooooo
I'm just another cold shoulder

Somebody's brother
Somebody's son
Somebody's mother father
Somebody's someone
Somebody's missin you
Wherever you came from
And wherever you go
I hope you know
You're somebody's someone

Pick up the phone who's it gonna be this time
It's the sound of your voice but it ain't really you on the line
When ya gonna come out on the other side
It's on you cause you know there
ain't nothin we can do no matter how we try

Oooooo
I'm just another cold shoulder

I may lose you time and time again
But I'll be there till the end

You're my only brother
You're my mother's son
I'm still your sister
You're somebody's someone
We're all still missin' you
Back where you came from
Wherever you go I hope you know
You're somebody's someone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGgN9vMPUn8